Well, I am making the decision to take a break from Xanga. I don't know when or if I will be back. This decision
has to be made. Time to get things in order in my life, my marriage, my relationship with the Lord, and my home. Xanga has to take a back seat right now to everything else. It's time to start figuring out where I'm headed in this life of mine; what's important and what's not. I've got to get rid of the small distractions in my life and focusing on the things that will get me through each day. I've got to put the Lord first and start relying on Him more. I've got to stop trying to do everything myself and let Him guide me in the right direction. I've got to start making a time to spend with Him each and every day. I love my husband and my girls, but there is room for improvement in my roles as wife and mother. I've been a stay-at-home mom for 12 years; I feel that I've lost some of my identity during those years. I've got to decide what I want to do with my life; I guess I'm to the point where I need to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Don't get me wrong....I absolutely love being able to be at home for my girls, but I just feel somewhat inadequate at times. I am at a point in my life where my girls are getting older and I want to find something to fill in that time where I'm not needed as much as when they were younger. I need to find myself in other words.  

For now, my site will remain, but I may decide later on to just shut it down. Just not sure yet what I will do. I won't just leave though; I'll let ya'll know. Thanks to all of you have become my Xanga friends. It's been fun while I've been on here. Maybe there will be more good times to come. We'll have to wait and see.

If you will, please say a little prayer for me. Pray that the Lord will guide me through this rough spot that I've come to in my life. Pray that I will be able to seek out God's plans for my life. Pray for peace and contentment in my life. Pray for me as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend. Pray that those relationships will grow stronger each and every day. Pray that I will be able to find that true happiness in my life that I so desire. I thank you in advance for your prayers.

I say good-bye for now. Take each day one step at a time. Enjoy every minute of every day. Tell those that you hold close that you love them and how much they mean to you. Take care and God bless!

Love & Hugs,
Tonya

Hi everyone! I want to say "thank you" for your sweet messages that were left on my last post and for all the prayers that have gone out for our family.

Well, this past Sunday was a different kind of Sunday for us. As I had posted, our day started off with the news that my father-in-law had passed away. We got the phone call at 6:30 am. Needless to say, we didn't go to church as we normally do. My husband and his brother got ready and drove to Athens to the hospital to pick up their mom. Abby and I got ready and headed to my mom's house a little after 10:00 because Hayley had spent the night with her. We had lunch with her and then headed home around 1:00. My mom had fixed a big lunch and sent all the leftovers with me, so when we got home, I just pulled out at my in-laws house and carried all the food in. They were all very appreciative of the food that was sent because none of them had eaten. After they all ate, hubby, his two brothers, and their mom left to go make the funeral arrangements. We (the four daughter-in-laws and the grandkids) all stayed at the house. Word got around fast about 'Dad' passing away and neighbors and friends starting coming by, so that's why all of us stayed at the house. Within a couple of hours, there was already enough food to feed an army. I do have to say that my girls and I left for a little while and went to town. Abby was in need of some new Sunday shoes and there were a couple other things that was needed. We all ate supper with 'Mom' and then finally headed to our houses about 9:30 that evening. (Well, Trudy, one of my sister-in-laws, spent the night with 'Mom' so she wouldn't be by herself.) By the time we got everything settled at our house, we finally went to bed around 2:00 am.

Monday....I got up at my normal time and got the girls ready for school and got them on their way. Yes, we sent them on to school because there was no reason for them to miss the whole day. They did get out early though. After they left, I got busy with my list of things to do. I ended up going back to town and bought myself a new outfit to wear to the funeral. I also had to buy John a new white short sleeve shirt and black belt. Once I got back home, I went back out to help around my mother-in-law's house for a little while, then I came back to my house and took a shower. We had visitation from 6:00 to 8:00 that evening. Let me tell you, there were so many people that came through that funeral home that night. If they didn't get there early, a lot of people waited in line for over an hour. We thought the line would never end. Needless to say, we didn't get out of there until a little after 9:00. We were all so tired it wasn't even funny. When we got home, we were all hungry so we all ate supper out at 'Mom's' house. After eating, we went home and the girls went straight to bed. By the time things got settled, John and I once again went to bed at 2:00 am.

Tuesday....We got up, had breakfast, and got ready for the funeral. We were suppose to be at the funeral home by 9:00 that morning, but we got there a little after. The reason we were there that early was for a family visitation time. At 10:30, we all headed over to my in-law's church where the service was to be held. It was a very nice service and there was a nice little crowd gathered to honor 'Dad'. After the service, we all headed over to the gravesite and there was just a short, sweet little message said there. The church provided us with a wonderful meal and sent what was left home with us. All of us did our own little thing for a while, but we all came back together and ate supper together. It was another long day, but there was just a peace about the whole day.

Now, let me tell you a little about my father-in-law, Rev. Jabel Robert (J.R.) Baird, Jr. He was 78 years old and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. He was married to my m-i-l, Murnette Baird, for almost 60 years (November would be their 60th anniversary). He has four sons: Donnie (who passed away in 1993), Robin, Mark, and John (my hubby). His daughter-in-laws are...Ramona (she was married to Donnie), Trudy (Robin's wife), Diane (Mark's wife), and me. There are six granddaughters, one grandson, and one great-grandson. He was a U.S. Air Force Veteran. He was a pastor and had pastored five churches since 1967. He was one of the most Godly men to ever cross my path. He absolutely loved ministering to people and he never missed a chance to talk to someone about the Lord. Even in his last days, he was still praying for others. His pastor stood at his bedside on Friday evening and 'Dad' prayed over him. What a blessing this man has been to me and so many others! He made such an impact in everyone's life that knew him. He will be greatly missed.

I do have to say that losing 'Dad' brought up some feelings that I wasn't really ready to deal with again. It's been almost two years since my daddy passed away and all those raw emotions came roaring back. I have now lost both my dads and miss them something terrible. I do know that one day I will see them again and what a glorious day that will be.

It strikes me as kind of funny when I sit here and type 'Dad'. I'm the only daughter-in-law who called him that. The other three called him 'Mr. Baird'. I just couldn't do that. It was probably about a year after John and I got married that I asked John's parents if I could call them 'Mom' and 'Dad". I just felt since they had welcomed me into the family and treated me as one of their own that calling them Mr. & Mrs. Baird wasn't personal enough. I'll never forget their response. They said with big grins on their faces that they would be honored to have me call them 'Mom' and 'Dad'. They also said that they wished the other three would do the same as me, but that has never happened. I loved 'Dad' with all my heart and he will always have a special place in my heart.

Well, that's all for now. It's time for me to get off here and head to bed. Hope all of you have a terrific Thursday. Take care and God bless!

Love & Hugs,
Tonya

Update:
My father-in-law passed away early this morning. We got the call a little after 6:30 am. Please keep our family in your prayers. Thanks.

Tonya

Update on prayer request:
Please continue to pray for my father-in-law. 'Dad' was taken off the ventilator Tuesday morning, but stopped breathing not too long afterwards. They got him breathing again and placed his CPAP mask on him to help him breathe. He has been using a CPAP machine for a couple of years now to help him breathe when he is sleeping, but now he has to keep it on all the time, except for a short period of time to eat his meals and that's a struggle for him. His doctor has told him that there is nothing else that they can do for him, except try and make him comfortable. Hospice has been called in. My father-in-law is in his final days here on this earth. John (my hubby) and his two brothers were called to the hospital yesterday and it was discussed with them what all the doctor has said and what the options are right now. 'Dad' wants to have his CPAP mask taken off and let nature take its course. My mother-in-law isn't ready to let go yet, so things are in limbo right now. She's fighting it, but I know deep down that she knows what the right decision should be. She knows that he's not going to get any better and she can't continue to take care of him like she has been. She's not in the greatest of health and is worn out. He's tired of fighting this battle and is ready to just let go. It's a tough situation. Please keep all of us in your prayers as we take this difficult journey one day at a time. Thanks.

Love & Hugs,
Tonya

Please pray for my father-in-law. We live right behind my in-laws and last night at a little after 11:00, my husband had to walk out to their house to check on his dad. He was very weak and hurting in his left side pretty bad. Hubby, along with his mom, made the decision to have an ambulance called. The first thing the paramedics checked was his heart because he does have a history of heart disease. His heart was okay though. They loaded him up in the ambulance and headed towards Athens to the hospital with hubby and my m-i-l not too far behind. Well, the ambulance driver must have been flying because John said that he only saw the ambulance a couple of times. Anyway, by the time that John and his mom got parked and walked into the emergency room, his dad had been put on a ventilator. They were told that his dad talked to the paramedics most of the way to Athens, but as they got closer to the hospital, his oxygen level started dropping. It got to the point where they were bagging him to help him out with his breathing. They said that by the time he arrived at the emergency room, his oxygen level was extremely low and they placed him on a ventilator. John called me with all this info early this morning. I haven't heard anything else, so I'm not sure what's going on. Just please keep my f-i-l in your prayers and I will update on this as soon as I hear something else on him. I call him 'Dad', but if ya'll want a name to use when you pray, everyone knows him as Brother Baird or Mr. Baird. I don't of anyone who actually calls him by his first name. lol

Well, there's more I could put on here, but it's not as important as the prayer request so I will end this. Hope all of you have a terrific Tuesday! Take care and God bless!

Love & Hugs,
Tonya